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To the woman feeling alone in her online business...

business Apr 24, 2019

I remember sitting in my cubicle on Yonge and Eglinton, miserable, ungrateful and dying to be anywhere but at my desk. At the time, I was working in Social Media marketing for a small, and my certainty of wanting to be the CEO or Creative Director of a high-end marketing or PR firm was crashing down around me.
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I'd been in the industry for just over a year, and I was already tired. How could I possibly do this for the rest of my life? I decided at that moment that what I needed to excel in life was a job that allowed me to work from home. And so, without another job lined up, I gave three weeks notice and set the intention that I would find a career that allowed me to work from home, make a difference and travel.
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Two days before my last day, with no job in sight I got a call for an interview with a small Social Media agency looking for someone to add to their remote team in the city. I left work early for the meeting and accepted an offer two days later. Four months earlier I lost my father, and two weeks prior I ended a four-year relationship. I was sure that this was my big break - the AHA, the ARRIVAL.
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Three months into my work from home job that I thought would bring me all of the answers, I realized how alone I felt in this city of 6 million people. I spent my days working alone in my house and my evenings trying to fill my time with the company of those who had little idea who I was or what I'd been through.


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Six months later I boarded a plane to Bali for five weeks alone, and when I came home feeling even more alone than I'd ever felt, I decided to leave the city that had lit a fire in my soul all of those years ago.
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I was angry at myself that in a city of 6 million I couldn't find a community I resonated with, people who I could connect with, someone who got me for me, not the blue eyes staring at them from my Tinder profile.
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Since then I've stepped out of the corporate life I often dreamed of and into a life of entrepreneurship, starting first with network marketing and finally stepping out in the online space entirely with Badass Business Babes. Just like the movies and our teachers glamorized corporate life - going to school, getting a job, paying your bills on time - I soon realized that the presence of an entrepreneur is also very much glamorized in the online space.
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And after years of working from home in social media, I realized that entrepreneurship could often feel just as lonely.
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When I decided to move back to the city the fear that I would continue to feel lonely surfaced and I made a vow to do everything I could to find more in person connection here.

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It’s been happening slowly, and last Sunday when I was feeling particularly alone I grabbed a Starbucks and went for one of my favorites walks through the city. But I did it a little different this time around...
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Instead of just walking through the city, I walked through the town and for every person I saw I asked myself “how am I like this person?” And my world truly shifted.
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I’ve been the girl anxiously awaiting the light to change. I’ve been the man sitting in his car impatiently waiting for others to cross the road. I’ve been the woman wanting a coffee so bad but short the 20 cents to make it a reality. I’ve been the girl all dressed up, sitting on the park bench, headphones in just doing her best to breath. I’ve been the woman tired from walking, weighed down by her laptop bag, hopping on the subway to see that there are no seats. And I’ve been the woman; all dressed up, power walking down the road to a destination she believes is more important than where she is currently standing.
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When it comes to business, I've been the woman sliding into your DMs to sell you something. I've been the contractor taking feedback personally, I've been the woman nervous to reach out for that payment from a client that I've earned. I've been the woman reaching out to others on Instagram telling them that they're crushing it and that I wish I were in their shoes, I've been the woman scrolling and judging and scrolling and judging...
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And I've also been the woman who's looked up at the life she's living and thought - holy fuck I did this. I overcame the obstacles, I found some of my gifts, I let people into my truth, I opened my heart to possibility, and I've been crushed more times then I care to imagine - but I did it. I'm still here, still standing, still whole.
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I realized something so powerful as I was walking the streets asking myself "what do this person and I have in common?".
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I could find something I had in common with EVERY SINGLE PERSON I came across. My heart exploded and shattered all at the same time.
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It hit me that no matter what we’re doing with our individual lives or businesses, we’re all here gaining a mutual understanding of the experience of human being on this planet.

We’re all excelling, failing, crying, rejoicing, embracing, breaking and putting ourselves back together every day. We're not experiencing these hurts and joys to prepare us for anything grand, they are present as clues to teach us every single day that we are not separate, that we're one, that you and I, and the man you think you have nothing in common with - are exactly alike.
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The judgment whether in person or on social is the cause of disconnection. The judgment says “you’re not like me because I would never do that”. In the online space when we're working from home, we can't be building more distance between ourselves and our clients and friends. We have to be creating a more meaningful connection.
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So if you're feeling lonely, tired or like you're ready to throw in the towel on your online business, I urge you to stop the judgment. I urge you to ask yourself:
What do I have in common with my ideal clients?
Where am I judging my progress to someone else?
What judgments am I making about my journey?
What do I have in common with my graphic designer?
What connects me to this woman who appears to have it all figured out on Instagram?
What am I seeing in this person that lives within me too?

What we need is to know in our bones when working in the online space is that every one of us, while wildly different are the exact fucking same. We're all perfect, all whole, all alike in one way or another and therefore we're all blessed with the exact things we need to live a vibrant and abundant life.

A good coach, speaker, leader knows that there is no difference between her, her clients, or the people who randomly follow her. She knows in her bones that her journey is unique to her, but the emotions she feels are a universal language of connection.

You're not alone babe, you're just getting started. If you're seeking a community of women to lift your spirits, hold you accountable and be a loving, judgment-free space - joining the VIP tribe is going to be your jam. 

xx 

Cora-Lynn Hazelwood 

Let's connect over on the gram ---- > here!

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