What I will say with certainty is that for some, this post will be hard to read - because it's true. I want to preface you reading this with LOVE and COMPASSION for you, your story, where you've been, and where you're going.
As a businesswoman, you've chosen a life of eternal growth and that growth isn't always drenched in designer handbags or Hermes scarfs. More often then not it's full of tears, breakthroughs and hard conversations - the business of your dreams is on the other side of this work, the emotional work, the work you do on yourself.
This is what surfaced in me when I gave myself the time and space to listen to my own truth and inner wisdom. This is what flowed out of my mind and body as I watched thousands of people running around the city from 45 floors above the floor.
If you took a moment to pause,
take a deep breath in,
sigh it out through the mouth,
and asked yourself...
"Who is the antagonist in my story?"
What comes up?
I sat with this question this morning. I half expected my mind to run through a list of people who have "wronged" me in the past, moments in time where I had no "control" over the situation, but that wasn't the case.
Following my exhale,
with rolling thunder,
my mind simply said.
I sat with it at first,
kind of in shock,
kind of liberated,
kind of angry,
before finally landing on,
this feeling like, "duh".
My life has felt, at times, like an uphill battle but if I really ask myself "why", it's because I was present the entire time making it harder than it needed to be.
Indulging in the ice cream - judging for indulging.
Healing through other people - judging the process.
Expressing myself through clothing - thinking "who am I" to do this?
Receiving compliments - deflecting the attention.
Spending on my health - shaming myself for wanting more.
Deciding to leave - keeping one foot dipped in just in case.
Explored my sexuality - gave my self the "slut" title.
And I got thinking - am I really the only thing standing in my way, making this life challenging, and blocking myself from becoming my most authentic self? There are certainly external circumstances that get in the way, but the more truthful answer is - yes, I am.
This is my truth.
I'm 27 years old, I co-run an online empire that provides transformational tools for the women and the businesses they run and I'm still, and always will be transforming - not in relation to my business or the world around me - but in relation to my self.
An embarrassing amount of time these days, as I am healing old wounds and stories from my past, is spent catching myself in self-deprecating behaviour and doing my best not to immediately judge myself for it. I spend moments thinking " where did that roll come from?", "Why did you leave him?", "why did you say that?", "why weren't you more honest?", "why did you eat that?"...
Followed first by "damn it, Cora-Lynn, you're your own enemy again!"
Followed closely with "it's okay, you're human, we're growing. Baby steps".
So often we look outside of ourselves for the answer as to why we're feeling low, depressed, anxious, not enough... We've been trained as a society to do so, and so often we're left disappointed, in debt, and often times worse off than the place we started. New makeup. New shoes. New thrifty find. New online course. New yoga studio. All attempts to use things outside of ourselves to change our relationship with the world around us.
As someone who has taken the path of seeking outside herself as early as yesterday, you're not alone and there's no shame in it - it's how we're told to be - but I also know, from various life experiences that none of it will work because it's nothing outside of us that is harming us - we are harming ourselves with our words and our actions toward OURSELVES.
Shame? Self-imposed Fear.
Depression? Hiding my truth.
If you want to change your life.
If you want to design something magical.
If you desire a life beyond your wildest dreams,
YOU have to change in relation to YOURSELF
and the world around you will reflect that change.
You need to marvel at your beauty.
You need to find gratitude for the sickness.
You need to practice compassion for yourself.
You need to pour love into yourself, with or without the makeup.
You need to speak because you know what you have to say is VALUABLE - not because you think it's a means to an end.
You need, not just to be yourself, but to be in GRATITUDE DRIVEN AWE of your body, your mind and your spirit moment to moment. Every feeling, every thought, every opportunity a blessing for the discovery of the self.
If you're reading this thinking " I am the antagonist" ask yourself EVERYDAY:
"How can I be kinder to myself?"
"How was I magical today?"
"What action did I take that didn't feel like my highest self?"
"What can I do tomorrow to be more grateful for ME?"
"What can I forgive myself for today?"
"What can I let go of judgement around today?"
"How can I trust myself more today?"
Watch as the world around you starts to fill you in ways you never dreamed possible - not because it changed - but because you decided that everything you are experiencing is an opportunity for a deeper connection with yourself and therefore everyone and everything around you - including that beautiful business of yours.
So, I ask you, on a sunny Monday morning, who is the antagonist in your story? In what ways are you being your own worst enemy?
What small thing can you do today to support your magic, not your judgment?
And if you're a businesswoman in desperate need of a perspective shift, I highly recommend you dig into Six Figure Biz Babe.
This program opens only 3 x per year and is designed to transform the businesswoman and the businesses they run from a place of "I'm fucking capable of validating myself".